Spectations

A study, of words, in crimson, sometimes blue, rarely yellow.

Archive for the tag “time”

“What does it f…

“What does it feel like to be alive?
Living, you stand under a waterfall. You leave the sleeping shore deliberately; you shed your dusty clothes, pick your barefoot way over the high, slippery rocks, hold your breath, choose your footing, and step into the waterfall. The hard water pelts your skull, bangs in bits on your shoulders and arms.
The strong water dashes down beside you and you feel it along your calves and thighs rising roughly backup, up to the roiling surface, full of bubbles that slide up your skin or break on you at full speed. Can you breathe here? Here where the force is the greatest and only the strength of your neck holds the river out of your face. Yes, you can breathe even here. You could learn to live like this. And you can, if you concentrate, even look out at the peaceful far bank where you try to raise your arms. What a racket in your ears, what a scattershot pummeling!
It is time pounding at you, time… Knowing you are alive is watching on every side your generation’s short time falling away as fast as rivers drop through air, and feeling it hit.”

– Annie Dillard

Monologue [Be human.]

Time has a way of settling everything, and the things that it doesn’t settle, it puts into perspective. Time is also relevant; there are moments of silence and infinities of chaos. There are days when everything feels like its back on track. But you know, somewhere deep in your heart, that it isn’t. You know that these moments of brilliance are the final, desperate sparks of a dying flame trying to reignite itself. You know that the distance has stretched out too far. The silences are not complete now; they are filled with doubts, unsaid words, unvoiced fears.  The chaos is beginning to become routine, a rhythm you fall in and out of with more grace than you ever thought you had. The whole world is spinning just like before, in complete harmony, going full circle, but your own little world is off-kilter. But, hey, sunshine, it’s ok, you know? Because at the end of the day you’re all that you really need. We come and go and we’re never less lonely and our disguises only get tougher with age. So, sunshine, go be yourself, and be absolutely alone – because you can do that. Revel in the solitude, because only in this absolute silence will you find yourself. Not every silence needs filling. Be human, and be proud.

Life Has Been Good To Me.

Indeed! xD

Life has always been a little too much for me; a little too much happiness, a little too much tragedy, a little too much responsibility & a little too much revealing.

Maybe it’s also been a little too kind at times, a little too harsh at others.

But it’s surely been a little too demanding at times when I thought I didn’t have a lot to give, a little too much of a challenge right when I started doubting myself.

Life has always been a kind friend, a clever enemy. It has been sometimes unexplainably comforting, at times heart-breakingly hostile.

Then again life gave me lessons which were sometimes too hard to come by, sometimes too obvious to miss.

Life made me realize that sometimes I am a little too mean, sometimes a little too friendly, sometimes a little too confident, sometimes a little too doubtful.

Life also showed me that I was loved enough, cared for too much.

It also showed me that sometimes people might not agree with what I have to say, sometimes people might not even care, sometimes people might even hate me, but it’s all in  day’s work.

Life has been the kind of professor who forces you to stay up nights working on a paper & then throws it in the trash because you misspelled your name.

But life has been good to me.

& for that I’m grateful.

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