Spectations

A study, of words, in crimson, sometimes blue, rarely yellow.

Archive for the tag “loss”

Split Second

Sometimes when I’m sitting in front of the TV,
when I’m entering the house after a tiring day,
when I’m sitting quietly in my own room,
I catch a note from a song,
I catch a whiff of a perfume,
I catch a glimpse of a shadow on the wall.

And for a split second,
I’m taken back,
To Wednesday dinners,
To Monday afternoons,
To Friday goodbyes.

And in that split second,
I have you back,
Standing in the kitchen,
Working on the Wednesday dinner.

And I reach out to you.

But then the split second is gone,
And you’re gone again,
And I sit back, waiting for the next time,
I catch a note from a song,
I catch a whiff of a perfume,
I catch a glimpse of a shadow on the wall.

I sit back and wait for the next split second,
That will bring you back to me.

True Irony

Have you ever wished someone so much unhappiness that you wish to see them break down, fall to their knees & cry like a child in front of you? Have you ever wished someone so much pain that every morsel of your soul wants to see them only suffer & burn? Have you ever wished someone so much hate that you wanted everyone to look at them with disgust & foreboding?

I have.

& all this usually comes after you’ve wished someone all the happiness, all the love & all the respect this world has to offer, after you’ve loved so much that only God could take it out of your heart, after you’ve been broken so badly that only God might put you together, but He is busy with so many other tormented souls.

But what’s worse, when you wish them all the unhappiness & the pain in the world, they usually are rewarded with it. & seeing them breaking down & suffering, you can never truly be happy either.

That is the whole point of irony, I guess.

Red

There were echoing screams in her head as she ran; ran past the houses, past the fences, past the trees, into the perfect round clearing, lit by the moon, surrounded in a perfect circle with solemn blood-red roses, & in the middle of the clearing, she kneeled, & cried out to the Heavens, “Why?”. She screamed until there was no more air in her lungs, she screamed until she was sure the Heavens had heard her.

 & a breeze blew, soft & gentle, cool as the moonlight shining on her skin, & she knew then Heaven wasn’t alone in hearing her cries. & without even turning around, she knew he had come for her. & without a question, she gave her soul away.

 & that night, the Heavens wept.

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