Spectations

A study, of words, in crimson, sometimes blue, rarely yellow.

Wish You Were Never Mine.

Standing at the roof of my house, watching the dark clouds roll over the sky, the only thing that comes to my mind is you.
I think about your embrace & how that seems like the only place in the world which I can call mine.
I think about your smell & how it’s wraps around me when you are near.
I think about your smile & how it melts my heart & brightens my day.
I think about your touch & how it gives me strength.
I think about your voice & how it is the only thing I hear when I feel lonely in a crowd.
I think about you & how you are the world to me.
& I think about the long wait ahead…

Sometimes I wish you were never mine. That way the pain I suffer when you are away would never be known to me.
Sometimes I wish you were never mine. That way each day away from you would not seem this hard.
Sometimes I wish you were never mine. That way I would go through life not knowing the agony of not having you beside me.
Sometimes I wish you were never mine. That way I would not have the burden of belonging to you on my shoulders.
Sometimes I wish you were never mine. That way I would not feel so incomplete without you.

& as the rain starts to pour, my heart starts to burn.We were not meant to live this way, we were not meant to hide.
I’m afraid to look back, I don’t want to see how far I have come.
I’m afraid to look ahead, I don’t want to see how far I have yet to go.
All I know is that we have to make it through.
Because at the other end, there are no distances, no divides. It is the life we are working so hard to build. It is the house on top of the hill where there is only love & no hate, only joy & no tears, only faith & no questions.

The only thought in my mind is you. The only word on my lips is your name.
& my feet move in rhythm, towards us.

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